Wreckage

[Rex]

"One man. No hope."

I'd like to present "Wreckage" to everyone here at Movie Treatments and to all you producers, directors and executives out there.

A bleak neo-dystopian sci-fi tale of a man all alone on the red planet- Mars. Reliving his past through virtual reality we learn why and how he became the last man standing on the most desolate, hostile environment man has ever known. His only companion is the base's Artifical Intelligence and his memories. Haunted by the screams of his former crew he struggles to understand his situation- yet he feels a guiding hand has brought him there.

Enjoy-

[WriteNow]

Premise sounds interesting. Reading it now-

[WriteNow]

Wow. You were not kidding about this one being bleak, Rex. I feel like a need hug or something. Right out of the gate this idea is a tough sell (but you already knew that) but it's also pretty great. Also pretty confusing.

First off- love the title. It's central to the plot, it's simple and it makes an impact. I can just see the one-sheets now with the lettering superimposed on the crash site.

Second- format is spot-on. This is what a treatment should look like, in my opinion. Just words on paper, nothing special. Even used my favorite font. The numbering of acts, (i.e. I, II, III) is unnecessary but not likely to get you in any trouble.

Now to the story itself. Really, really dark. Really kind of depressing. It's well done, and I really like it. But there's some problems.

The last one first- what happens in the end? Our hero takes off his space helmet and ends up being able to breath on Mars? So he can't be real (or human). Which would make him either a.) a ghost, b.) a robot c.) a hologram, d.) something else?

The clues to his "real" identity are (I think) the fact that he didn't get the disease, and something to do with his wife's eye color. I'm guessing something about manufactured memories (the VR memories) and the eye color was a mix-up of some sort letting him know what was really going on.

So- I'm confused. Who is Samuel? Why did he survive the Martian environment? And why did he crash the landing craft?

Also, we meet his crew briefly (with some nice, quick chracterizations) and they soon get sick and die. Not much interaction for Samuel, though. He's just there. Why is he so isolated even when he's surrounded by people?

A year ago I probably would have said this film is hopeless. Its a muddled mess with mostly one character and everything goes bad for everyone. Like your tagline, "No hope."

Then I saw a film called Moon. If you haven't seen it, you should. Your script shares a lot of similarites with it. It's about one man working alone on the moon who suddenly bumps into . . . himself. And it is very confusing and very depressing BUT- there is hope. In the end we get a resolution that feels real yet gives us hope that not everyone has to die horribly.

But, then again, I doubt you want that. You want a "bleak, neo-dysoptian" sci-fi tale and that you have. It's cool. I wouldn't mind some answers, although perhaps its meant to be ambiguous? Either way, I get the feeling you wrote this some time ago and are pretty set in stone on it, and if so that's fine. There's just not much of an audience for films like this. It's a niche market, to say the least. If George Clooney couldn't make Solaris a hit, then there's trouble in depressing sci-fi movie-land.

[Rex]

Wow, thanks a lot for the in depth critique, WriteNow. I really appreciate it. I love the title, too. In fact the title came almost before everything else, almost. Originally it was going to take place on a crashed/sunken submarine. It changed alot as it went on. For one thing Samuel was originally just a normal human being and at the end of the film he commits suicide. Wait, let me back up-

You were right about most of the stuff you said. I was trying to be ambiguous intenionally but I think all the evidence is there, some of which you pointed out. Samuel doesn't get the disease is the big one. The eye color of his wife is also supposed to be a mistake the company made when they were implanting him with artificial memories. They don't match the photo he has of his wife, but they (the company) didn't know she wore colored contacts. Because, of course, it wasn't really Samuel's wife, but someone else's and he was given the memories. So, yes, Samuel is not human but I like to think he was a manufactured human, not a robot. Sounds odd, but I mean to say that he is organic, not a machine. But not a clone like in "Moon" which I did see, and loved. But I wrote this years ago, so I didn't get inspired by Moon or anything.

I know this film is tough to sell. No T and A, not much action, pretty slow. I wrote it cause I loved the idea. It could be done so well now with the effects possibilities. I have never seen a movie about Mars that captures the feeling of extreme isolation I'm going for.

Thanks again. No, I am probably not going to change anything (then I would have to change the screenplay too) but you seemed to "get" it and tell me more or less what I would hope someone with your experience would. I'll shoot for something more "saleable" next time, but I thuink you have to write what you love first, and worry about getting rich second.

[WriteNow]

Happy to help, Rex-

As far as "writing what you love . . ." check out my story here: http://www.movietreatments.com/forum...?p=238#post238

I think the thing is finding a balance between writing what you love and writing something you can sell. I knew a guy (seriously) who mostly wrote movie about gay pirates. I asked him why and he said he loved the idea of a big, gay pirate movie, a huge production, a grand spectacle. I told him it seemed like a longshot, but he didn't care. Don't know whatever happened to him-

Anyway, I guess my point is you need to find a happy medium. And keep the treatments coming-

[WriteNow]

Hey Rex, if you're still with us I wonder if you've been following the news of the film Gravity that Alfonso Cuaron is directing. It had Angelina Jolie in the lead but she dropped out and now they're going for Natalie Portman (one of my favorites) for the lead.

Anyway, when I heard the description I was surprised to find out that it was very much like your treatment for Wreckage. It's about the "lone survivor" on a space station and her attempts to return back home. Now I read this and thought- is THIS why Rex has disappeared, has he hit the big time? Which really is a valid question. Gravity sounds like a glossier version on Wreckage, punched up with the latest info gleaned from focus groups about things like "Who would you want to see as the lone survivor on a space station? A middle-aged man or one of the most beautiful women alive?"

So, given the timing I have to ask if you sold Wreckage to anyone. If not it's a nice little coincidence and a very clear indicator that you are on the right track, as far as keeping ahead of the Hollywood trends.

So let us know, Rex. And also update us on Holocaust and the other stuff you have going. I recall you saying you had a great treatment about an Iraq War vet with extreme PTSD. Post it!